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Why Bush Was Good for Foreign Policy (Satirists)

William Hartung | December 30, 2008

Editor: John Feffer

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Foreign Policy In Focus

George W. Bush. But it's long past time that someone looked at the up side of Bush. Here are 10 good reasons we're going to miss him, in no particular order.

 

1. Saying "nucular": Can't beat having a president with his finger on the nuclear button who can't pronounce the word "nuclear" (keeps 'em guessing).

2. Picking Dick Cheney: He's everybody's favorite unindicted war criminal, and the man liberals love to hate. And he will be missed. Just try getting this worked up about Joe Biden.

3. Reviving Rumsfeld: He was the "Brownie" of defense policy ("heckuva job, Don") but at least the man had a way with words. From his famous oration on "known knowns, unknown knowns, and unknown unknowns" to his habit of asking and answering his own questions, he was a reporter's dream - as long as you weren't expecting any actual information.

4. Provoking Hugo: Bush's decision to go mano a mano with Venezuelan strongman Hugo Chavez sparked some of the most vivid anti-imperialist rhetoric ever. The high point came when Chavez compared one of Bush's UN speeches to an Alfred Hitchcock movie, and even proposed a title for it: The Devil's Recipe. Chavez vs. Obama? More like a chess game than a heavyweight bout.

5. Seeing Vladimir: Who else had the vision to "look into the soul" of Vladimir Putin (or "Pooty-poot," as Bush called him) and see "a good man"? Would Idi Amin have looked like Mother Theresa if he were still around during the Bush years?

6. Reading Ahmadinejad in Washington: He couldn't pronounce his name, but Bush did prompt Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to write him an 18-page letter. That makes it longer than Bush's favorite book The Very Hungry Caterpillar - and a good bet to make it into the Bush presidential library.

7. Palling Around with Tony Blair: Not since Batman and Robin (the original, overweight Batman, not the dark, scary one of recent movies) have two men bonded so closely in the fight against evil and injustice. Too bad they kept choosing the wrong targets.

8. Mastering Geography: As the poet Ambrose Bierce reportedly said, "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." So it was with George W. Bush, who started off with A is for Afghanistan but then got bogged down with I is for Iraq.

9. Besting Sarah Palin: W. ran a bigger state than she did before having the nerve to run for national office (Texas may be big but even he couldn't see Russia from his front porch). True, he can't match her ability to create sentences that make you feel like you're lost in a maze. But his version of mangled language is more quotable ("Bring It On," "Make the Pie Higher"), and much easier to fit onto a bumper sticker. You don't need to be Tina Fey to get a laugh out of the way he talks.

10. Playing Cowboy: Much as he enjoyed posturing as a cowboy, W’s "ranch" was more like a suburban house with really big weeds in the back. Foreign leaders who visited Crawford would report back that in Bush's America the word horse is actually a synonym for "riding lawn mower." No more quick draw presidency, circling the wagons, or high noon moments. It won’t exactly be “all quiet on the Western front” with Obama, but we satirists will certainly miss the swagger.

William Hartung is a contributor to Foreign Policy In Focus and the director of the Arms and Security Initiative at the New America Foundation.

 

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Published by Foreign Policy In Focus (FPIF), a project of the Institute for Policy Studies (IPS, online at www.ips-dc.org). Copyright © 2009, Institute for Policy Studies.

Recommended citation:
William Hartung, "Why Bush Was Good for Foreign Policy (Satirists)," (Washington, DC: Foreign Policy In Focus, December 30, 2008).

Web location:
http://fpif.org/fpiftxt/5770

Production Information:
Author(s): William Hartung
Editor(s): John Feffer
Production: John Feffer

Latest Comments & Conversation Area
Editor's Note: FPIF.org editors read and approve each comment. Comments are checked for content only; spelling and grammar errors are not corrected and comments that include vulgar language or libelous content are rejected.
 
Name Laura Date: Jan 07, 2009
Thanks for the wonderful satire, as always. I can't fathom why, to this day, however, we supposedly educated Americans persist in making fun of an entire geographical accent that pronounces the word nuclear in a different way than in the standard mid-western, eastern seaboard, or west coast accents. We don't consider it a sign of being language defficient imbeciles when people from DC pronounce the words Mary, marry, and merry as if they all sound the same (as those from New Jersey, New York and further north for some reason speak as if those words have three separate vowel sounds) and this shouldn't be any different.

On the other hand, if we'd like to poke fun at Bush for taking on a way of pronouncing the word nuclear- and other bits of accent- that don't quite make sense with his east coast private school education, by all means jab away.

Name William Ellis Date: Jan 07, 2009
For the record - if Alaska was divided into two equal size states, Texas would be the third largest state in the USA.
Name Lake View Deb Date: Jan 09, 2009
"Nucular" isn't the result of an accent difference--and is as clearly wrong as "real-i-tor" or "libary." It's probably some little bit of brain damage, but you'd think W's handlers could simply train him..."George...just think New Clear." But this bit of tone deafness is nothing compared to the fact that he cannot hear the suffering of the American people, much less the world he has damaged so greatly.
Name desert tortoise Date: Jan 11, 2009
We (and the press) will miss Dubya and his innate ability to unintentionally massacre the English language (smile!). Remember "It's good to put food on your family"? But the fact that he lurched from pillar to post on policies, domestically and internationally, has left such devastation in his wake. His penchant for secrecy will, as time passes, undoubtedly reveal some real issues for the new administration to deal with. As recently as this morning, in an interview with his father, George H.W. Bush, Dubya professed "pride in all of my accomplishments" during his eight years in office! As noted in your article, Dubya "cannot hear the suffering of the American people" and he still just doesn't "get it". So sad for us, and him.
 
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